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Anyone For Seconds by Fiona Cassidy

May 6, 2010

I’m still on the free, short read train.  In theory, I’ll get enough lead time to finally read some longer stuff!  This week I’m reviewing Fiona Cassidy’s Anyone For Seconds, which I found at Feedbooks.

Here’s the blurb:

Meet Frankie McCormick, lone parent to Ben and Carly, PR guru and a woman who finds men who wear glasses irresistible.

Enter Owen Byrne (Clark Kent minus the manky Y-fronts). He’s sexy, dynamic and is everything a girl could wish for. The one fly in the ointment comes in the form of his horrendous teenage daughter, the seriously misnamed Angelica.

The path of true love never runs smooth but for Frankie and Owen the road is particularly treacherous (a minefield would be safer). Family crises, interfering in-laws (or is that outlaws?) and a bittersweet tragedy all culminate to test their relationship while faces from the past threaten their future as a family.

Second chances don’t pop up very often and when they do it’s best to grab them with both hands. Will Frankie and Owen have the courage to stand together and become a family with 2.4 children or is that 3.6 children?

I’m not even sure where to start with the problems I had with this story.  The formatting was poorly done.  There was massive use of passive voice.  There were typos, poor grammar in places, and I’m not sure that this author has a clue how to properly use a comma.  She spent lengthy stretches with detailed descriptions of things like the kids’ rooms that didn’t at all advance the story.  It was all tell and no show.  All this pulled me out of the story, which wasn’t all that great to begin with.  There was no discernible plot that I could see.  No real conflict.  Nothing at all to draw a reader in.  I’m sorry to say I couldn’t get past about the 70% mark.

I have to rate this story as crumby and not worth the time.  Perhaps with some judicious editing, proper formatting, a class in punctuation and grammar, and some time spent on learning proper story structure and the need for conflict, it could be improved.

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